Migratory grief: what it is and how to overcome the loss of your country

You can have a job, a home and a new life in another country and still feel an emptiness that won't leave you: you miss your people, your language, the streets you knew by heart. That mix of sadness, longing and the feeling of not belonging anywhere has a name: it's migratory grief. It isn't weakness or ingratitude: it's the natural grieving process for everything you left behind when you emigrated, and it's far more common than it seems.

Leaving your country means a real loss —of family, culture, land and even of who you were there— even though no one has died. According to the World Health Organization, migration is a factor that can deeply affect mental health, especially when you live far away and in isolation. In this article I explain exactly what migratory grief is, what its symptoms are, the seven griefs every migrant goes through, how it differs from depression and how to overcome homesickness so you can feel at home again —wherever you live.

What is migratory grief?

Migratory grief is the grieving process a person goes through when they leave their country to live somewhere else. Unlike grief over a death, it is a partial grief (what you left behind still exists, you can return or call), recurrent (the longing comes and goes, especially on meaningful dates) and multiple (you don't lose one thing, but many at once). That's why it's so particular: it doesn't close from one day to the next, but accompanies you while you build a new life.

Emigrating isn't just changing places: it's leaving behind a part of your identity. And grieving that loss —even if you left to improve your life— isn't being ungrateful, it's being human.

The seven griefs of the migrant

The mental health and migration expert Joseba Achotegui describes that migratory grief is not a single loss, but seven griefs lived at the same time. Recognizing which weigh on you most is the first step to working through them:

• Family and loved ones: the distance from those you love most and the fear of losing them from afar.
• Language: thinking, dreaming or expressing emotions in another language is tiring and can make you feel you're not quite yourself.
• Culture: the customs, values, religion, humour and ways of doing things that are your own.
• The land: the landscapes, the light, the climate, the colours and the smells you associate with home.
• Social status: people often emigrate and lose standing —jobs below their qualifications, having to "start from scratch".
• Your group of belonging: friends, neighbours, community, feeling you're "one of your own".
• Physical safety: the risks of the migratory journey or of the new life.

Symptoms of migratory grief

Migratory grief shows up in the body, the emotions and the thoughts:

Migratory grief or depression?

The longing and sadness of migratory grief are normal and adaptive: they are part of the process of settling into a new life. But when the sadness becomes permanent, you lose interest in everything, you can't function day to day or very dark thoughts appear, it may have developed into depression or an anxiety disorder that need treatment. The key difference: migratory grief coexists with moments of enjoyment and keeps evolving; depression colours everything and does not lift. When in doubt, a professional assessment clears it up.

Why living far from your country hurts so much

Not everyone experiences migratory grief with the same intensity. Some factors make it worse:

• Leaving by force: because of work, finances or safety, rather than by choice.
• Loneliness and lack of a network in the new place. Unwanted loneliness multiplies the pain of longing.
• The language barrier and culture shock when everything —from booking a doctor's appointment to making friends— happens in another language.
• Not being able to return easily because of money, papers or distance, like those who live on another continent.
• An "unrecognized" grief: when those around you say "but you're better off there, what are you complaining about?", the loss is lived in silence and weighs even more.

The migrant's paradox is that you can be "fine" objectively —with a job and stability— and still feel that a part of you is missing.

How to overcome migratory grief

Overcoming migratory grief doesn't mean forgetting where you come from, but integrating both lives —the one before and the one now— without having to give up either. These steps help:

• Allow yourself to feel and name the loss: longing isn't ingratitude, it's a sign of all you love.
• Keep ties with your country: calls, food, music, celebrations and community give you roots and belonging.
• Build a network in the new place: look for community, activities and relationships that make you feel accompanied.
• Create routines and small rituals that bring structure and meaning to your days.
• Look after sleep, your body and rest: they are the foundation for sustaining the process.
• Give yourself time: migratory grief is a process, not a switch that turns off all at once.

Good guides on coping with grief and loss remind us that each person goes through it at their own pace. It also helps to understand it as part of the general grief process.

Therapy for migratory grief (in your language)

Psychological therapy helps you work through migratory grief: putting the loss into words, building an identity that integrates both cultures, managing anxiety or sadness, and breaking the isolation. Doing it in your mother tongue is key: the deepest emotions are expressed far better in the language you grew up in.

That's why, if you live far away —for example, you're a Spanish speaker in the United States—, online therapy in your own language lets you work on this grief with a psychologist who understands you culturally and linguistically, from wherever you are and without giving up your language. According to the American Psychological Association, the right support makes adapting after migration much easier.

When to seek professional help

If for months the longing won't let you live, if sadness or anxiety overwhelm you, if you feel alone and disconnected or you notice the grief turning into something darker, it's time to ask for help. Migratory grief can be worked through, and feeling at home —inside yourself— again is possible.

In my practice I support people who live far from their country and carry this grief in silence. We work on the longing, the guilt, the loneliness and building a meaningful life on both sides, with online therapy in Spanish or Catalan, wherever you live. If you recognize yourself in this, get in touch for a first assessment with no commitment.

One important message: missing your country doesn't make you weak or ungrateful. It's proof of everything you love. And learning to carry it is an act of care toward yourself.