The emotional challenge of living abroad
Living abroad is an experience that profoundly transforms anyone's life. More than 2.7 million Spaniards live outside Spain according to the Register of Spaniards Resident Abroad (PERE), and hundreds of thousands of Catalans have built lives in countries across Europe, the Americas, Asia, and Oceania. Behind the professional opportunities and the adventure of discovering new cultures, there is often an invisible emotional challenge that is rarely talked about: loneliness, homesickness, loss of identity, and the stress of cultural adaptation.
Online therapy for expats is a key resource for providing professional emotional support to people who live far from home and who need a safe space to express themselves in their mother tongue. I am Xènia Capel Salcedo, a licensed health psychologist registered with the COPC under number 14982, and I offer therapy by video call in Catalan, Spanish, and English for expats around the world.
Migratory grief: the invisible loss of expats
One of the key concepts for understanding the emotional experience of expats is migratory grief. The psychiatrist Joseba Achotegui defined the concept of "Ulysses Syndrome" to describe the chronic stress experienced by migrants when the stressors of migration exceed their capacity for adaptation.
Migratory grief is a process of loss that affects seven fundamental areas of an expat's life:
Loss of family and friends
The physical distance from loved ones is one of the most painful losses. Despite today's communication technology, video calls do not replace physical presence: we cannot hug, share a meal, or simply "be there" in the important moments. Many expats feel a constant guilt for not being present when their parents grow older, when their nieces and nephews grow up, or when a friend needs support.
Loss of language
For Catalan and Spanish speakers living abroad, losing daily contact with their mother tongue is especially significant. Language is not just a communication tool: it is an essential part of identity and the emotional world. Many expats report feeling "different" when they express themselves in another language and that emotions don't have the same depth. Being able to do therapy in your mother tongue from abroad allows you to connect with your emotions through your deepest linguistic register.
Loss of culture and references
Traditions, customs, food, humor, holidays — everything that makes up a person's cultural framework is lost or transformed when living abroad. Expats often feel like "strangers" both in the host country and when they return to visit their country of origin, a phenomenon known as "reverse culture shock".
Loss of landscape and place
The bond with one's land — the familiar landscapes of the Anoia, the mountains of Montserrat, the Mediterranean Sea — is deeper than we often acknowledge. Homesickness for the territory can manifest as a diffuse sadness that intensifies in specific moments: when fall arrives, when we see photos of the village, or when we hear a song that takes us home.
Common psychological problems in expats
The migration experience, even when voluntary and desired, can trigger or worsen various psychological problems. In my clinical work with online expats, the most common reasons for consultation are:
• Cultural adaptation anxiety: The stress of living in an environment with different social, work, and relational norms. The constant uncertainty of "not knowing how things work" generates a state of alert that can be exhausting.
• Depression and chronic sadness: Homesickness, loneliness, and the feeling of not belonging anywhere can trigger depressive episodes. Depression in expats often disguises itself as irritability, apathy, or emotional disconnection.
• Identity crisis: "Who am I here?" is a recurring question among expats. Identity is built largely from social and cultural context, and when that context changes, the person can feel they are losing their sense of self.
• Couple problems: Migration tests relationships. Differences in adaptation, intercultural conflicts (in mixed couples), decisions about where to live, and disagreements about parenting in a bicultural context are frequent sources of conflict.
• Work stress in a multicultural environment: Differences in workplace culture — communication styles, hierarchies, time management — can cause frustration and the feeling of not fitting in professionally.
• Social isolation: Building a meaningful social network in a new country takes time and energy. Many expats have superficial relationships and miss the depth of lifelong friendships.
• Anxiety about long-distance family: Constant worry about the health and well-being of the family left behind, especially when parents are getting older.
Why is it important to do therapy in your mother tongue?
Numerous psycholinguistic studies show that emotions are processed more deeply in the mother tongue. When we speak in a second language, we tend to "distance ourselves" emotionally from the content — a phenomenon science calls the "foreign language effect".
In therapy, this distancing can be a significant obstacle. That's why offering therapy in Catalan, Spanish, or English for expats is not a luxury, but a real therapeutic need. When you can express your emotions in the language in which you feel them, the therapeutic process is deeper, more authentic, and more effective.
Many of my expat clients tell me: "Finally I can explain what I feel without having to translate it." This linguistic and cultural connection makes for a stronger therapeutic alliance and faster results.
How do I work with expats in online therapy?
My therapeutic approach with expats integrates several frameworks adapted to the intercultural reality:
Intercultural perspective
I understand the migration experience through a lens that respects cultural complexity. Not all expats live the same experience: a Catalan in London is very different from a Catalan in Shanghai or a Catalan in Buenos Aires. The cultural context of the host country, the reasons for the migration, and the length of residence shape the emotional experience in many different ways.
Working with migratory grief
I accompany the person in processing the losses associated with migration. It is not about "forgetting" or "overcoming" the losses, but about integrating them into the life narrative in a way that allows them to move forward without denying the pain. We work with the ambivalence — love for what we've left behind and the choice to live where we are — that is central to every expat's experience.
Building a bicultural identity
I help people build an integrated identity that incorporates elements of the culture of origin and the host culture. There is no need to choose between being "fully Catalan" or "fully a local in the country where I live." A bicultural identity is a richness, and therapy helps to live it as such instead of as a conflict.
Adaptation strategies and social network
We work on practical strategies to improve adaptation to the host country: building new meaningful relationships, managing intercultural stress, establishing well-being routines, and maintaining a healthy connection with the country of origin without it becoming an escape.
Advantages of online therapy for expats
Online therapy is the ideal format for people living abroad, for many reasons:
• Access to a professional in your language: It is not always easy to find a psychologist who speaks Catalan, Spanish, or English in the country where you live. Online therapy completely removes this geographic barrier.
• Continuity with your roots: The therapy session becomes a space to reconnect with your language, your culture, and your identity in a therapeutically productive way.
• International schedule flexibility: I adapt session times to the time difference of the country where you are. I see clients in Europe, North America, Latin America, Asia, and Oceania.
• Cultural understanding: As a professional who understands Catalan and Spanish reality, I understand your cultural references, your values, and your way of seeing the world. This makes for a therapeutic connection that would be difficult with a professional from a different cultural context.
• No waiting lists: In your host country, accessing a psychologist can be complicated (long waiting lists, prohibitive costs, language barriers). Online therapy lets you start the therapeutic process quickly.
Expats and children: the challenge of bicultural parenting
Expats with children face an additional challenge: bicultural parenting. The questions about which language to speak at home, how to pass on the culture of origin, how to manage dual schooling, and how to balance cultural influences are a very common source of stress and couple conflict.
In therapy we work on aspects such as:
• How to keep the Catalan or Spanish language alive in the children without making it an imposition.
• How to manage the feeling that the children "belong" more to the host country than to the country of origin.
• How to build bridges between the two cultures so children experience their bicultural identity as a richness.
• How to manage parenting differences with a partner who comes from another culture.
The return: when going home isn't what you expected
A little-known aspect of the expat experience is the shock of return (reverse culture shock). Many expats who decide to return to Catalonia or Spain discover that "home" is no longer exactly as they remembered it. They have changed, and so has their environment. Readaptation can be just as hard, or harder, than the original adaptation to the foreign country.
Symptoms of return shock include: disorientation in a supposedly familiar environment, frustration with aspects of the home culture they didn't perceive before, longing for the host country, difficulty connecting with friends and family who "don't understand" the experience they've lived, and the feeling of not fitting in either place.
Online therapy for expats also accompanies you through this return process, helping you integrate both identities and build a meaningful life in the new (old) environment.
Take the first step from wherever you are
If you live abroad and feel you need a space to take care of yourself emotionally in your own language, I am here to support you. I offer a first free informational consultation where we will assess your situation and your needs.
Online therapy for expats connects you with a licensed health psychologist who understands your culture, your language, and the unique challenges of living far from home. No matter where you are: emotional well-being knows no borders.