An email arrives with the subject line 'Today only, 40% off'. You open it just to have a look and, twenty minutes later, there are three things in your basket that you weren't looking for. You pay, feel a small rush of relief and, when the parcel arrives, you leave it unopened in the hall with the others. If this happens now and then, especially around Black Friday or Christmas, it's fairly normal. If it happens every week, if you spend more than you have or if you hide the bags so nobody sees them, it may be compulsive buying.
In this article I explain what compulsive buying is, how to tell it apart from simply shopping a lot, why it's so hard to stop and what you can do about it, on your own and with professional help.
What is compulsive buying?
We talk about compulsive buying when it's hard to control the urge to buy, time after time, and the buying carries on even when it causes problems. Researchers call it compulsive buying-shopping disorder, and it also goes by an older name, oniomania, which the American Psychological Association (APA) still lists in its dictionary.
It isn't a new problem, and the internet didn't invent it. In the early 20th century the psychiatrists Emil Kraepelin and Eugen Bleuler were already describing 'oniomaniacs' in their textbooks, people who bought compulsively and ran up debts for no reason at all (Black, 2007).
Today the DSM-5, the American psychiatric diagnostic manual, doesn't include it as a disorder in its own right. The ICD-11, the World Health Organization's classification, mentions it as an example of 'other specified impulse control disorders' (Müller and colleagues, 2023). Some researchers argue that it should be treated as a behavioural addiction, like gambling disorder (Brand and colleagues, 2022). The label is still being debated, but the problem can be treated.
Shopping a lot or compulsive buying?
Enjoying a day at the shops doesn't mean you have a problem. At Christmas or before a birthday almost everyone spends more than they meant to, and someone who comes into an inheritance or wins the lottery may treat themselves in a big way. The psychiatrist Donald W. Black, from the University of Iowa, points out in a review of the disorder that frequent shopping is not, on its own, a warning sign (Black, 2007).
The difference lies in why you buy and what happens afterwards. When you shop for pleasure, you choose, you enjoy what you take home and, if need be, you can wait. With compulsive buying, the urge comes first, the thrill of buying matters more than the item, and guilt and regret tend to follow.
Signs of compulsive buying
In 2021, a panel of 138 experts from 35 countries reached a consensus on proposed criteria for diagnosing it (Müller and colleagues, 2021). In everyday terms, these are the main signs:
- You think about buying very often, or feel urges to buy that are very hard to resist.
- You go into an online shop 'just to browse' and end up spending far more than you planned.
- You pile up things you don't use, such as clothes with the tags still on, unopened parcels or duplicates.
- You buy to make yourself feel better when you're sad, anxious, bored or angry.
- Shopping has led to debt, arguments at home or problems at work.
- When you try not to buy, you get irritable or can't stop thinking about it.
- You keep buying, or even buy more, despite seeing the harm it does.
You don't need to recognise yourself in all of them. If several sound familiar and it has been going on for months, it's worth talking to a professional.
The cycle: from urge to guilt
Black describes four phases that keep repeating. First comes anticipation, with thoughts and urges about a particular item or simply about going shopping. Then there's preparation, which can mean hunting for deals, deciding where to go or even which card to use. The third phase is the shopping itself, which many people experience as intensely exciting. The last is paying, which often leaves a sense of let-down or disappointment with yourself (Black, 2007).
And what comes before all that? In a study of women who met the criteria for compulsive buying, the most common trigger was negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, boredom, anger or self-criticism. What they felt when they bought was euphoria or relief (Miltenberger and colleagues, 2003).
That's where the loop closes. Buying brings quick relief, and the brain learns that it's a good way out of feeling bad. The relief doesn't last, though. Guilt follows, which is another unpleasant emotion, and it pushes you to look for the same comfort again. That's why, over time, compulsive buying feeds itself (Kellett and Bolton, 2009). If guilt weighs heavily on you, the article on guilt may help.
Why people buy compulsively
Research points to the job that buying does for you, which is to regulate what you feel inside. The experts in the 2021 consensus included this among the criteria (Müller and colleagues, 2021), and that's why the deeper work usually involves emotional regulation.
Black's review lists other factors that play a part:
- It often comes with other problems, especially depression and anxiety, but also substance use or eating disorders.
- It tends to run in families, where mood and substance use problems are also common.
- It usually starts in the late teens or early twenties. Black suggests this may coincide with leaving home and getting your first credit cards.
- It's more common in wealthy countries, with a market economy, a huge range of goods, disposable income and leisure time.
Nor is it only a problem for people with money. Someone on a low income can also be preoccupied with shopping, and will simply do it in cheaper shops. The things bought most often are clothes, shoes, jewellery, cosmetics and household items. They're often not expensive, and the problem is the quantity (Black, 2007).
Compulsive buying online, Black Friday and the sales
Shopping used to mean leaving the house and going to a shop during opening hours. Now the shop is on your phone, open 24 hours a day, with your card saved and a button to pay with one tap. For anyone prone to compulsive buying, that changes a lot.
In a group of 122 patients in treatment for compulsive buying, one in three (33.6%) had symptoms of compulsive online buying. Symptoms were more severe the younger the patients were and the more anxiety and depression they had (Müller and colleagues, 2019). Stress plays a part too. In the United States, during the first six months of the pandemic, compulsive buying rose steadily, both online and in shops (Maraz and Yi, 2022).
The retail calendar doesn't help. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas and the January sales come one after another within a few weeks, and each date arrives with urgent messages like 'last few left' or 'today only'. Donald Black had already noted that the problem tends to be worse at Christmas, on other important holidays and around the birthdays of family and friends (Black, 2007).
How to protect yourself from compulsive buying during sales season
- Delete your saved card from shops and apps. Having to go and find it gives you a few seconds to think.
- Unsubscribe from newsletters and turn off notifications from shopping apps.
- If you need something, write it on a list beforehand and decide how much you'll spend.
- Leave what you want in the basket until the next day. Often the urge fades on its own.
- Avoid shopping when you're sad, tired or lying in bed at night.
- If you go shopping, take someone you trust who can help you put the brakes on.
How common is it?
More common than you might think. A meta-analysis published in October 2026 pooled 111 studies covering nearly 135,000 people in 32 countries. In representative samples of adults the figure is 4.6%, or roughly one person in twenty. Among university students and young adults it rises to 9.2%, in studies of online shoppers it's 5.9% and among adolescents it's higher still, but these three figures rest on low-quality data and should be read with caution (Laskowski and colleagues, 2026). An earlier review, from 2016, had already put compulsive buying at around 5% of the adult population (Maraz, Griffiths and Demetrovics, 2016).
For years it was described as 'a women's thing', because the vast majority of people who seek help are women. Black had already suspected the difference might be only apparent, and the 2026 meta-analysis points the same way. In representative, adolescent and online samples there were no differences between men and women, and only in student and convenience samples were rates higher among women.
Is it a shopping addiction?
In everyday language people call it shopping addiction, and it has a lot in common with behavioural addictions such as gambling addiction or phone addiction. There's an urge that's hard to stop, short-lived relief, consequences that don't halt the behaviour, and relapses. The mechanism also resembles emotional eating, where food is used to soothe.
In Catalonia, the Pathological Gambling Unit at Bellvitge University Hospital compared 3,324 patients in treatment for different behavioural addictions. Those seeking help for compulsive buying were more often women and had more psychological symptoms than those seeking help for gambling, video gaming, internet use or sex (Granero and colleagues, 2016).
Before calling it compulsive buying, though, two things should be considered:
- If the spending sprees only happen during spells of euphoria, with lots of energy and little need for sleep, it could be a manic or hypomanic episode. That needs a medical assessment, and you'll find more in the article on bipolar disorder.
- If the things you buy pile up until they fill your home and you can't part with them, there's a hoarding problem on top. Experts propose recording this as a variant of compulsive buying (Müller and colleagues, 2021), and in one therapy trial it was among the factors linked to a poorer response (Mueller and colleagues, 2008).
Treatment for compulsive buying
Psychological therapy has the strongest support, particularly cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). In a controlled trial at Erlangen University Hospital in Germany with 60 people, those who had 12 weekly sessions of group CBT improved significantly more than those on the waiting list, and the improvement held six months later (Mueller and colleagues, 2008).
That programme worked on stopping and controlling problem buying, learning healthy shopping habits, reviewing the thoughts and feelings linked to buying, and building other ways to cope with distress. Most studies have used group therapy, but individual therapy has also worked well in a single-case study (Kellett, Oxborough and Gaskell, 2021).
What about medication? A 2023 systematic review of 13 studies concluded that group CBT reduces symptoms, whereas SSRI antidepressants and topiramate did no better than placebo (Müller and colleagues, 2023). Black had already advised against relying on medication to solve it. It's a different matter if there's depression or another disorder underneath, which may need medical treatment. Where there are debts, financial advice to get them in order also helps (Black, 2007).
How to stop shopping compulsively
There are steps you can start taking today, whether or not you go on to seek help.
Before the urge hits
- Admit the problem. Black puts this first, and it's often the hardest step.
- For a few weeks, write down every purchase, how much you spent and how you felt just before. You'll spot patterns you can't see now.
- Put barriers around your money, such as removing your card from apps, paying in cash or asking your bank for a lower limit.
- Make a list of things to do at risky moments, like calling someone, going for a walk or doing something you enjoy. Black recommends finding ways to fill your free time that don't involve shopping.
When the urge is already there
- Name what you're feeling. 'I'm bored', 'I'm angry with my sister'. That alone often takes the edge off the urge.
- Wait. Urges rise, peak and fall, even if you don't buy anything.
- Step away from the shop window, whether it's a real one or a screen. Close the app or leave the shop.
- If you slip up, don't punish yourself. Guilt is fuel for the cycle. Look at what happened and try again the next day.
How to help someone who shops compulsively
Living with someone who buys compulsively is exhausting. There are bills that don't add up, parcels arriving every day and conversations that end in blame. In one study, 68% of people with compulsive buying said the problem had harmed their relationships (Black, 2007). If this is your situation, these points may help:
- Talk about what you've noticed using concrete facts, without insults or sarcasm. Shame makes people hide things even more.
- Ask how they are, not just how much they've spent.
- Before paying off their debts, make a plan together and agree how money will be managed from now on.
- Encourage them to get help, and remember that you may need support too.
Therapy for compulsive buying in Igualada and online
At my practice in Igualada and online, I support people who want to put compulsive buying behind them. We use a cognitive behavioural approach to understand what drives you to buy, which emotions lie underneath and what other ways you have of handling them, along with practical steps to get back in control of your money. You can read more about how I work with emotions on the page about online emotional management therapy. I work in Spanish and Catalan, as a health psychologist.
You don't have to wait until you're in debt to ask for help. Get in touch and, in a first conversation with no commitment, we'll see how I can help.